Many of you are coming via google searches and since they have not updated their searches, they are leading you here. The blog is now hosted directly at www.holisticallyhattie.com! Same great content, same great site!
I’ll see you over there!
This headline should clue you into my style of viewing sex for older adults. Don’t you think it’s about time we stopped behaving as if sex is only for the young? That’s the dreary message we’ve been handed, and I, for one, want to shatter that ridiculous idea.
A little over a year ago, I was featured in a skin-tight gold bathing suit for a Dolce & Gabbana ad. I thought nothing of it. After all, I swim almost every day, and have been doing it for over 25 years. Suddenly I was tagged as a Cougar, and instead of being derided, I was adulated. I practically became a public service announcement for the beauty and desirability of the older woman. Suited me just fine! (bathing suited)
And who was most pleased by this super sexy senior? The young, that’s who. Every day I get emails and am stopped on the street for hugs…and even autographs. Can you imagine how great it is to hear that they are thrilled and inspired and want to be like me when they grow up.
I’m pleased to be on the front lines of this sexual revolution. More and more older women are dropping their shame about being sexual (and their underwear too!). They’re shortening their skirts, flaunting their cleavage, and loving their mature bodies.
Inappropriate? Who says so?
And what’s more… who cares?
Tomorrow, I’m going to be a guest on the Howard Stern Show. This is a return engagement, about ten years from my last appearance. I was in my early 60’s then, strutin’ my stuff, fully confident that nothing he could say or do would pull me off stride.
I recall friends warning me, “Watch out Hattie. He can say some pretty insulting things. He’ll call you a hag, and tease you about sleeping with young guys.” Well, they were right. He did call me a hag, and said I was too old for him. Did this make me lose confidence? Just the reverse. With a Cheshire smile on my face, I countered with, “This old hag sleeps with men who are MUCH YOUNGER than you, Howard.” Then he called out several 20 something guys on his crew and asked them if they would fuck me.
They all answered that they would in a minute.
That did it! I stood up, went topless without a hint of embarrassment, and the show was a blast that was repeated three times. I suspect that my ease and humor surprised and delighted Howard. After all, what Senior can stand up to him and the TV audience (it was on the telly in those days) playfully and confidently exposing herself on every level? I breasted him at his own game!
Fast forward 10 years, and I’m now 74! Will I go topless again? Of course! As I often say, grabbing my breasts, “They’ve stood up to the test of Time!” But this time my appearance is not simply about shocking people at my sexuality and surgery-free youthful appeal. I’m thrilled that this “unveiling” will allow me to inspire women of all ages to honor their inner beauty, and have as much sex with whomever they desire. (with protection, of course) NO MATTER WHAT SOCIETY SAYS!
Tune in next Tuesday, September 14, and hear how this internationally-acclaimed 70plus Cougar playfully parlays with Howard and Robin…after all, he ain’t getting’ any younger, and I’m an expert (sexpert) about what’s going on under men’s pants…including his!
Ever since my recent appearance on The Learning Channel’s “STRANGE SEX” series, I’ve been deluged with emails asking me to share some of my experiences dating younger men. This Cougar phenomenon seemed to come out of the blue, as if we older women haven’t been enjoying ourselves for years. Talk about coming out of the closet! I never felt like I was in one! For me, it all felt natural and fun.
Here are several vignettes from my years of single sex that I think you’ll enjoy:
He: Ever slept with a cab driver?
Me: Once, a few years ago
He: It was me. Don’t pay your fare!
GUY ON BIKE
Biker: (stopping me on the street) You’re Hattie aren’t you?
Me: Yes. I’m Hattie
He: Been screwing lately?
Me: Nope. I’m celibate.
He: (riding away) … waste of a national treasure!
TV Producer: I just broke up with my girlfriend.
Me: Why are you calling me?
He: I want to take you to bed.
Me: Could you get me on TV instead?
AT LUNCH WITH GIRLFRIEND
Me: (to friend) I’d love to make love at the Plaza today.”
She: Good luck.
Out of Town Salesman: I saw your ad in New York Magazine. Would you join me this afternoon at the Plaza? I’m in room 1212.
Me: Cool. See you in 15 minutes. By the way, what’s your name?
Me: (commenting to man at store window) Aren’t those shoes gorgeous?
He: You’re gorgeous
Me: Your place or mine?
He: Would you consider modeling for a magazine shoot?
Me: Do I have to pose nude?
He: Yes, I hope that’s okay.
Me: Just what I had in mind!
Guy arriving with suitcase: This is filled with the greatest sex toys.
Me: Actually, I’m not into that scene.
He: (leaving) Pity, guess I’ll have to play with them myself.
Me: (phoning a former lover)
It’s Hattie, how about coming to my place tonight?”
He: I’m married, but that doesn’t matter.
Me: Well, it matters to me.
Artist on subway: I’m really into older women.
Me: And if I were 20, you’d tell me you’re only into 20 year olds!
CARIBBEAN FASHION STATEMENT
Me: (draping my pearls over my date’s erection)
I’ve always liked basic black and pearls!
It has always bothered me that aging in America is viewed as a downward spiral… and a repulsive one at that! It’s no wonder that the younger set clamored for Betty White to appear on Saturday Night Live. I’m thrilled to be joining Betty to inspire the young, and the young at heart to take aging into their own hands and make it an exciting life-affirming adventure.
Here I am, in my 70’s and Betty in her 80’s…two older women who are showing the world that aging doesn’t have to rob you of your youth and vitality. In Betty’s case, she is a bundle of energy, bubbling and enthusiastic…taking on new challenges with courage and joy. In my case sexuality got added to the mix. (“Stir It Up” as Bob Marley would say!)
It all started when I got divorced at 48, after being married for 25 years. I began dating again and before I knew it, younger men were pursuing me. That was well before the word “Cougar” was popular. It came as a shock to me that aging did not take away my sexuality…and that miracle inspired me to share my secrets. How great it feels to see young people smiling and actually enjoying the prospect of aging!
At first, I felt a bit weird about sleeping with young men. In my day that was called “cradle snatching.” With the passage of time, I became more accepting of the older woman/younger man phenomenon. This encouraged me to write my memoir, “Sex and the Single Senior: A Cougar’s Search for Love.”
Out of the blue I got called to star in a series for The Learning Channel, “Strange Sex.” Naturally I was concerned that the title was a turn-off. But, it had quite the opposite effect. Within days I was stopped on the street, and my inbox was filled with letters as people shared that the show had inspired them not to fear aging. Now, following Betty White’s lead, older women (and men too) can confidently fulfill their desires and follow their hearts, no matter what society says.
Aging has taught me that true beauty emerges from within… a lesson that lightens my heart, energizes my body, and puts a smile on my face, with or without a few wrinkles!
I wanted to keep you abreast to my encounter with Howard Stern – just in case you had not heard…
Let’s go back a bit…
For months, I’d been telling people, “One of these days I’m gonna be topless on the Howard Stern Show!” I figured that being on the show would encourage other women to follow in my tracks.
Brazenly proclaiming what fun that would be– with strategically placed pixels, of course, I joshed, “Someone’s gotta do it…and thank God, that someone is me!”
Tired of society’s view that being a sexy senior is a curiosity to sniggle at, I decided to show the world that this “old broad” was living life according to her desires and having sex with men half her age!
Well, my prophesy came true:
One of Howard’s producers was member of my Health Club. I asked the enrollment manager to pitch an appearance for me, and I got booked for the following week.
My decision to appear was filled with both vanity and valor. Vain because I was exhibiting my breasts like a go-go dancer and valiant because I knew I would be teased, insulted, and even laughed at. Nevertheless, this was my opportunity to get my RetroAge® message across. Knowing that I would be inspiring women to be powerful, sexual and beautiful made me impervious to any derision. Besides I knew it would be great fun!
Briskly entering the studio, I let Howard know he wasn’t dealing with your typical “old hag,” as he had been referring to me all morning on the air. In an attempt to taunt me, he leered, “It’s really disgusting for old women to sleep with young guys.”
Here was my chance to best him at his own game.
“You know, Howard, when an old guy sleeps with a woman young enough to be his daughter, society respects and reveres him. But just let an old woman sleep with young guys, and society reacts like she’s sick and disgusting.”
Then, strategically dropping my melodramatic delivery, I leaned toward him, smiled, and slowly added, “Well, Howard…
I’m sick and disgusting!”
This unexpected comeback rendered him uncharacteristically contrite, “Okay. Hattie, you are good looking, but you’re much too old for me,” whereupon his sidekick Robin Quivers shot back, “And you’re too old for her, Howard!”
Everyone in the studio cracked up.
Possibly to save face, Howard summoned the producers and engineers from the control room, asking them one by one if they would fuck me. To a man, they replied, “You bet we would!”
Then he jabbed, “Are your teeth real?”
“Everything’s real,” I replied, coyly playing with the bejeweled collar of my desgner jacket. The shock jock looked down at his notes and, almost as a dare, said “It says here that you’re going to take your top off. Is that true?”
“Yes, it is,” I replied, calmly removing my jacket. I was determined to get as much mileage as I could out of this TV appearance. I knew that the network would cover my breasts with pixels, so I wasn’t completely exposing myself… and it would be years before my grandchildren would see a tape.
Perhaps I didn’t alter Howard’s oft-uttered repulsion for older women, but It certainly gave the TV audience a good look at a senior who hasn’t chosen to been cut, stitched or injected to be sexy.
It made for a wild show that was aired three times.
Not bad for an “old hag.”
What can I say… he got the breast of me…
NEWS FLASH!!! According to recent accounts, there are 96 million people in America who are single! To put it another way 43% of people over 18 don’t have mates. And yours truly is one of them.
Frankly, being part of the great uncoupled is a horrid proposition. (YES, I get plenty of those!) After my divorce 25 years ago, I was certain wedding bells would be ringing for me within a year. Well, the bells rang for my former husband, but they’ve remained silent for me.
I have no regrets about the dissolution of my 25 year marriage, but being a single woman really sucks. According to the approach put forward by feminists and liberated women, I should be reveling in my freedom. I’m not. Sharing a life with a beloved partner is, for me, one of the greatest blessings on Earth. I wonder how many of the 96 million out there share my view.
So, with this vile statistic staring me in the face, I decided to create a mantra to help magnetize my man:
“A beautiful relationship with my beloved is about to manifest”
I hope it works for me, and if/when it does, I’ll let you know. Then, if you chose to lower that percentage, go ahead and do so. I’m with ya!